To Judge or Not to Judge, I Learned the Answer Today

Today I boarded my flight and sat by the window as I often enjoy.
They announced the flight was very full and yet the seat next to me stayed empty.
Up until the last two people boarded the plane.
Young, and unusual looking, the guy had tattooed lines and arrows that came from his lower lids down his cheeks and from his upper lids up to his thin eyebrows. He reminded me of a young version Gene Simmons from KISS, the old rock band.
He dressed and looked the part of something cultish. Not sure how else to describe it.
Something odd about him as was the gal he was with in a white T-shirt and torn jeans, and disheveled hair.
They talked back and forth of who would sit next to me and who would sit across the isle.
Secretly, I hoped the girl would sit next to me. I had my fill of “super stressed and unusual people” at the airport at our gate. Let’s just say, the guy at the gate next to me had a special assistant for him to keep him from melting down.
Anyway, I was glad the young woman decided to sit next to me, instead of the “scary” looking guy.
Sorry for passing judgement but you’d have to see it for yourself.
The guy fell asleep before takeoff and for the next 1.5 hrs slept completely bent forward with his head literally between his knees. Whoever thought we had so much space in our seats!

The young lady looked like she was semi-conscious and in my judginess, in a drug induced stupor.
Eventually, she got up and disappeared to the bathroom for about 45 mins.
When she came back and sat down her cheeks were stained with mascara running down them and she smelled rather sour.
Meanwhile, I had been listening to a lovely recording on my phone with my Bose headset and snuggled in my seat like a little caterpillar in her cocoon.
But I just couldn’t sit there and ignore her condition any longer.
It seemed clear she was as high as a kite. Her hand would slowly come up to her lips and touch the tips while she also looked like she was passed out in some weird, incoherent way, closed eyes, all the while doing such odd behaviors.
I watched this again and again.
I watched her very slowly reach for her ginger ale and yet do nothing with it.
I watched her with even more curiosity do literally everything and yet nothing at all with her hands to her drink, her bag, her wrapped sandwich, and more all in this slow-mo kind of movement. Ne’er to ever actually pick up any of these items.
Quite intriguing for a Feldenkrais practitioner, for sure.
Finally, you know me, I just couldn’t sit there and watch this any longer.
I reached to her and touched her left arm and asked her if she needed any help. And is she ok, can I help her.
Well, folks that’s all it took.
She put her hands on me and pulled me to all her sourness and began to whisper in my ear everything.
She is pregnant and was in the bathroom peeing when she started throwing up uncontrollably in the bathroom sink at the same time. She is constantly nauseous.
Whether this is the actual story or not, I will go with it.
She also was wearing a hospital bracelet band.
What was clear is she does not feel well at all.
I asked her if I could show her something that might help her feel better.
With such gratefulness she said, “Yes, please!”
I showed her Linda Tellington-Jones, TTOUCH® ear work.
I showed her with me doing it on myself. Then asked if it was ok if I show it on her.
“Yes, please!”
Then she did it on my ear, then on herself.
She was so thankful and began to tell me her whole story of coming from Bosnia from the war in the early 1990’s, if any of you remember that horror.
She said she is thankful to Bill Clinton every day of her life for stopping the genocide.
Her family made their way here to the U.S. And now her mother works in a hospital as a nurse’s aide and pursuing to be an RN.
Her father started his own business here in America, even though he still has a strong accent.
It was hard for me not to giggle at that. We all have accents.
Whew, my whole family has accents!
She is now looking to move from the city where she has lived for years in the U.S. because there is so much crime.
She wants to raise her children where they can be safe and healthy. She really does know this deep in her own personal life. She said her past experiences inform her actions and how she lives her life each and every day. And that, yes we can take our experiences no matter how bad they have been and decide how we act and live now, right here in this very present time.
I was so in awe of what she was sharing with me. I couldn’t stop

Meanwhile, she felt so much better from us doing the very simple TTOUCH ear work that most of her nausea passed and she is currently sitting next to me sipping her ginger ale and eating a little of her sandwich.

I am constantly learning lessons and humbled. My own mother is still teaching me these things in life.
The truth is no matter if she is really pregnant or not, she is feeling better and we connected as two human beings.
And that is what counts.
Let us all learn that we are all human beings and no matter, none of us are really different than others. It’s just what we decide to do with it all.

What are you going to do with your day today?
Reach out to someone, make a connection, be a part of making the world a little closer, a little better. Human by human.

By the way, after we got off the plane she waited and walked over to me to give me a big hug. She kept saying thank you and how her life was made better just by the chance of us sitting next to each other.  It was truly a blessing to meet such a wonderful young woman.

We do have choices how we are and how we can so easily reach out to people to connect. You never know who’s day you will really make better, just by chance.

Bless you,


  1. Thank you, dear Elinor! What a Heart moment ❤️Bless you and young woman an her Family!

  2. Such a special story, Thank you Elinor for having such a huge heart to have reached out to offer help. And now for the T Touch on the ears video again please.

  3. I had a revelatory experience once – also on a plane. Sitting next to me was a young man “scrunched up” in his seat. He was wearing a “hoodie” and seemed to be fleeing from the world. During the flight the captain announced that there was a medical emergency on board and asked whether there was a doctor among the passengers. To my surprise the young man stood up, removed his hood and took charge of the person who had had some kind of attack.

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