As my mother’s mother used to say, “No one ever said it was easy being a woman.” I always thought that had to do with wearing painfully ‘cute’ shoes. However, I think we can all agree it goes much deeper than shoes.
Today, marks day 6, of what seems to be a very hush hush subject. Day 6 post hysterectomy. It is a topic that I would like to open up for discussion. I will bet that you know a lot about your friends around you but might not necessarily have a clue how many of your girlfriends and female family members who have had all or some of their female parts taken out from them because of various reasons, like constant bleeding, small or large tumors. Or in my case tumors, one being almost 8 inches.
I am not a large woman and don’t have a lot of extra space for extra growths, let alone this large. However, most women don’t have this much extra space without repercussions, either.
Even though there is a lot to talk about in this discussion, all I want to say is, “Why does no one ever talk about this?” They talk about all other health issues and growths, from benign to the horrors of cancer. They will talk about all other bodily parts removed. But, when it comes to the “women parts,” it seems to be a very taboo subject. Hence, my feeling of being horribly alone and scared. Even the surgeons I spoke with had no one in their offices for me to talk with about understanding my own psyche, concerns, or just understanding any single solitary part of this.
Here was yet another body-mind disconnect I had with all the doctors, when they said to me that I don’t need any of the parts, and that since they are not being used anymore it’s best to get them all taken out. Wow, I asked one surgeon ‘how he would feel if someone told him that about his testicles? After all, he doesn’t need to make babies anymore, either does he?’ OK, maybe I just retorted that in my head. But, you know.
There really wasn’t much to go over in my case, it was all going south so quickly we needed to take everything out. And yet, it was only two nights before my surgery that I found out how many women I know had their female parts removed, too.
Please forgive me if I take a slightly different road in this conversation asking for you to please hear this. Can we please give love to all women around the world that do not even have the support of other females in their lives and or a partner who can love them unconditionally through it all. That all women and men stand together holding hands in one large life circle around the world passing the love and understanding that it is not so easy being a woman.
I am thankful to my 90 year old mother this morning who not only is a Feldenkrais practitioner and Reiki teacher and yoga student extraordinaire, but the mother who opened my mind in childhood to positive self talk and optimistic autosuggestion. This, in part of the way she raised me through my childhood. Thank you Mom
My safta, always full of wisdom!
Nicely written Elinor! Best wishes for a speedy recovery! As part of the TellingtonJones team, I can’t imagine a better and more loving support group!
Thank you Evan. Honestly, I can’t imagine what the beginning of my healing would have been like if I didn’t have Linda here to guide and love and support me.
so, you have just touched on this subject but have not gone deeper….I think thats what I was looking for while reading your blog(forgive me). I know how I felt when I had a part of me removed, it was surreal, very weird,however, it was not even close to what you have gone through so I can’t even imagine that this part of you(or any of us), HUGE part has been removed. Its not what defines us, but it is…and up until now, I never really thought to ask anyone who has had a hysterectomy, how they felt in the spiritual sense. I wish you well, with a solid and full recovery….lots of love from the east coast!
Speedy recovery, Elinor! I, too, have had the same words said to me, and I was floored. How can a doctor possibly know we don’t need them anymore?
I wish you glowing health. Your smile and uplifting attitude will serve you well. Hugs,
Kathy (we met at the Feldenkrais Festival this year. I’m the doppelganger…)
Dear Elinor, thank you for sharing your story and your path. Indeed, this seems to not be a topic discussed, as does miscarriage, etc. until we are in a small group and someone opens up. I can’t imagine how you are feeling right now, and yes, my heart and prayers are for those who do not have the MANY people around them that can feel the love you have to give and receive. Prayers and love to you, and please call on any of us for support and care.